For half a decade now, I’ve wanted to wake up less angry at the world. Feminist writer Sharon Blackie describes menopause as “an earthquake, shaking us to our deepest foundations.” Which probably explains why I’m the Roy Kent of mothers – a bit sweary and angry all the time. The bad sleep, overwhelm, anxiety and rage of menopause have plagued me.
As the epitome of a super-stressed, single, working mum on HRT (not quite the silver bullet I’d hoped for) I’m in dire need of a reset. I’m hoping that the specialist menopause retreats at Combe Grove, the UK’s first metabolic health centre, will give me that (and potentially cure my rushing woman syndrome, Cadbury Bournville addiction, hatred of all things meditation and impatience with my chaotic children).
The first thing I notice is the peace. Combe Grove is on the edge of Bath, in 70 acres of woods full of rabbits, owls and badgers. It has mesmerising views of the Limpley Stoke Valley. My beautiful, sustainably designed room has a Japanese plunge bath.
The jam-packed week kicks off with a welcome talk on metabolic health, the foundation on which all good health is based. This means getting the body working optimally in terms of stable blood sugar, balanced hormones and improved energy levels. Good metabolic health can improve, reverse and prevent conditions and diseases. Helen Aylward Smith, who set up the Elmhurst Trust that owns Combe Grove, is heartfelt about the retreat’s ambitious purpose: to share all their learnings with the NHS. She speaks passionately about their retreats as a gift you will want to share.
While I love this thought, I’m a big fan of things being evidence-based. Luckily, everything I experience is either strongly backed up by digestible science, or creates a change in me that needs no scientific explanation. Such as, how nice it is to walk into rooms that smell gorgeous and uplifting (even if I don’t strictly believe in aromatherapy).
Diagnostics with Dr Campbell Murdoch and team include blood tests for glucose and cholesterol, HbA1C tests for diabetes risk, blood pressure tests and an Accuniq analyser to measure my composition and identify an excess of visceral fat or poor muscle mass. I am fitted with a continuous glucose monitor, to see the impact of foods and activity on my glucose.
Fascinating, interactive sessions cover each of the five “roots” of metabolic health: nutrition; sleep; movement; mindset and environment. The retreat’s passionate experts guide us through why and how to make simple but significant improvements. They emphasise being flexible and gentle – it’s not about radical, unrealistic perfection, but sustainable progression.
I never feel judged at Combe Grove – their warmth and interest in me feels truly genuine. Food is celebrated as the body’s best friend – choose natural, nutritious food and the body thrives. Every day we eat delicious high protein, low-carb food, with brunch starting at 10.45am, and our dinner finishing by 7pm – within an eight-hour window. A buffalo mozzarella salad might be followed by a filling fish pie topped with creamy mashed cauliflower and parmesan, with balsamic drizzled kale and flaked almonds. I never knew kale could deserve third helpings.
Nutritionist Oliver Pratt talks about eating within an eight- to 10-hour window, using Time Restricted Eating (TRE). TRE allows the body to spend more time fixing itself, rather than be busy digesting. Again, rather than be dictatorial about it, Olly advocates flexibility with TRE – if you can’t do it every day, that’s okay – do what you can. His engaging cookery class shows us how to cook yummy but healthy food in five minutes. He arms us with delicious recipes.
My tests are reassuringly good, except the need to build much more muscle – crucial for women who lose muscle progressively as we age. The root I need the most help with is mindset. I now understand the depletive effects cortisol can have, stealing the building blocks that create progesterone, a crucial sex hormone. Stress equals further hormonal imbalance – equals bad news for already hormonally imbalanced women.
While it’s called a “retreat”, I am busy with sessions and treatments every day. Those I was most sceptical of are some of my favourites: Structural Integration – manipulating the fascial tissues of the body to achieve structural balance and space to breathe – with the lovely Nicki O’Clarey; belly dancing with the sparkly Wafaa Powell, and forest bathing with magical Heidi Rearden and Amanda Randell Cox. The massage with Lucie TePuci Jurickova is mind-blowing. Everyone we meet is compassionate, knowledgeable and giving. I also treasure the memory of watching the sunrise from my Japanese plunge bath.
Before we leave, the team helps us create a personalised plan, with one commitment per “root” to avoid overwhelm. The 100 other exciting things we’ve learned can wait till we’re ready to say “What next?”. Their experts will follow up with me every four to eight weeks over the next 48 weeks, with blood tests, nutritional 121s, recipe inspiration and meditation, and with a year’s membership to all the facilities and classes.
If I have to pick one highlight – and we all agree – it is making inner goddess headdresses with the spoils from our forest bathing walk with Heidi and Amanda, as they talk to us about how to enjoy life more through the “environment” root. While it sounds ridiculous, it is just so unusual and joyous. It taps into the other amazing thing about a retreat like this – the power of women sharing: sharing laughter, tears, and our stories. By the end of the evening, in an alcohol-free zone, we are drunk with joy and friendship.
And what about my stress? Deep breathing, we learn, stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, calming the body and the stress response so that it doesn’t divert the body’s resources to the production of cortisol. The week helps me find a great way to destress. I’ve jettisoned haranguing myself to do “proper” meditation, and instead “deep breathe” for eight minutes a day to a beautiful piece of music I love.
Practising relaxation this way has helped me stay calm when the T-Rex inside me wants to come out. I take a few deep breaths and think. This, for me, has been a real game-changer.
It’s been four weeks since I came home, and for me the retreat was life-changing. Our group continues to support each other and we have plans to meet up. As Helen predicted, it has indeed been a gift.
Metabolic Health Retreat and Year Long Support Programme for Perimenopause, Menopause & Beyond from £2,900. combegrove.com
The best menopause retreats in Europe
Find the perfect balance at these indulgent yet highly effective retreats across the continent.
Park Igls, Austria
The Menopause Fit programme covers diagnostics, Mayr nutrition, physiotherapy, therapy and bodywork. Gynaecological endocrinologist Professor Bettina Toth is on hand for medication.
Clinique la Prairie, Switzerland
Their Menopause Centre specialises in perimenopause and menopause. The approach is multidisciplinary. Homoeopathy, phytotherapy, and acupuncture support a medical approach including HRT.
Preidlhof, Italy
The Women’s Retreat majors in menopause’s psychological sledgehammer, offering a safe space to tease out repressed emotions and unresolved trauma. The goal is to empower and reframe via bodywork, psycho-spiritual healing and coaching.
Lanserhof Sylt, Germany
Extensive testing (including a DEXA scan for bone density) and medical consultations form the backbone of the package. Lifestyle changes aim to coax women into balance but HRT can be prescribed.
Grand Resort Bad Ragaz, Switzerland
An individualised package of testing and treatments with special focus is given to sleep, stress and the microbiome, all key for hormonal balance.
SHA, Spain
Treatment starts with a consultation with Dr Rafael Navas, an expert in integrated hormonal health. Hormone precursors and HRT can be prescribed; emotional and psychological factors are also considered.